If Only by Michelle Van Loon

Author:Michelle Van Loon
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Nazarene Publishing House
Published: 2014-05-12T00:00:00+00:00

Prayer

Father, I have sometimes mislabeled my own human attempts to form a truce with my past as your peace. But if I keep it in the vault, I am acting as my own guard over that past, aren’t I? And I am not such a good guard, because when I’m not expecting it, the past escapes and mocks me. It takes a lot of energy to keep that past in its place.

I think about that man living naked among the tombs outside of town. I cannot imagine the torment of heart and mind he must have experienced. He didn’t just wake up one day like this. Reality slipped from his desperate grasp as the voices—there were so many voices!—shrieked a cacophony of lies at him.

And then you came and with a single word evicted all the squatters who’d infiltrated this man and knocked down all of those dividing walls housing them all. Every one of those false, fleabag rooms in his soul must have had a secret stashed inside; every one must have contained a rotting lie.

A truce could not set this man free. Only you, Prince of Peace, could do this.

Only you.

There are lots of things that divide my heart, Lord, including the “if onlys” I’ve buried there for safekeeping. I don’t want to live this way anymore. Do what only you can do in me.

I again pray the words of David: “Teach me your way, LORD, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name” (Ps. 86:11). I ask this because it reflects your character, perfect in love three-in-one—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

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